One of the trickiest topics in the realm of parenthood is the issue of discipline. Defined as the practice of training or developing people to obey rules or a code of behavior, it definitely comes with the territory. It is absolutely necessary for a parent to discipline her little humans, who have yet to learn right from wrong.
Discipline, however, is tricky and different for every family because of how our parents raised us. Some believe in spanking their kids (corporal punishment), others shun punishments altogether, and there are those who follow everything else in between. In short, not all of us will agree on the method of discipline — what may be okay for you is not palatable for another. The only thing you can do is trust that a parent will only do what she believes is the best for her child.
TV personality and talk show host Melai Cantiveros showed her one of her ways to discipline her kids on social media. She posted a photo of Mela and Stela, her kids with husband Jason Francisco, on Instagram, which shows the two girls next to each other, facing the wall and in kneeling position.
The Cebuano caption read: “Kami sauna pag gaaway mi diretsu Luhod tapos sabayan ug asin ang tuhod sabay ampo???? Karun kay English na #FaceTheWall na, sabay japun Ampo ug sorry sa usag usa, tapos realization nganu giparusahan, para makakat on. Ug pohon mangadagko sila, mudako nga naay maayu nga pamatasan. Tama man? Kamu unsaun ninyu disiplinahun inyung mga anak, Comment na???? Mao ning gitawag na #Merese para kay @atemelafrancisco @stelarosalind, kay gaaway mn, #AwaypaMore para #LuhodPaMore,” the Pinoy Big Brother alum wrote.
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Loosely translated to English, Melai wrote that this is how she disciplines her children: when they fight, she makes them kneel down and face the wall until they apologize to each other, so they would realize their mistake.
Most of Melai’s followers on Instagram agreed with her and lauded her for bravely enforcing their rules at home. When the celebrity mom asked her followers what methods they use to discipline their own children, many of them shared what works for them.
One commenter said she made her daughter kneel on salt when she was 3 years old, and the child never forgot the incident until now that she’s a teenager.
“Tinanong ko anak ko kung ano ang naalala niya nung maliit pa siya na hinding hindi niya makalimutan. Sabi ng anak ko, ‘Mama...natandaan ko yung pinaluhod mo ko sa sahig na may asin...’ Sagot ko, ‘Natandaan mo yun anak?’ Sabi niya, ‘Opo, mama. Takot na takot ako nun mama.’ Naawa ako sa anak ko. Niyakap ko siya. Sabi ko gusto ko lumaki ka na may respeto sa magulang at maging mabuting tao, at hindi pabigat sa mundo at higit sa lahat, may takot sa Diyos. Sa awa ng Diyos mabait ang anak ko.”
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Another said she has had to resort to using the belt to get her kids to follow.
“Sad to say this doesn’t work [for] my kids. What worked for them is a discipline belt. But even with the discipline belt, [it] still doesn’t make them stop or follow my commands because I became their secondary caregiver. I’m at work the whole day [and] only returns at night.”
For another of Melai’s followers, a heart-to-heart talk works best.
“Ako dahil OFW po ako, my daughter po is 4 years old. Last time na umuwi ako, if may nagawa ang anak ko na ‘di maganda dinadala ko sya sa room namin na kami lang dalawa, kahit si daddy nya ‘di pwede pumasok sa room. Harapan kami mag-usap if tama ba yong ginawa nya o hindi, if mag iiyak man sya sa una hinahayaan ko muna hanggang kaya na nya makipag usap sakin, basta dun lang muna kami sa room hanggat di nya alam na mali sya.”
Others withhold their kids’ privileges — “Sa ngayon ang punishment, no gadget.”
Another mom has a unique way of disciplining her kids:
“Una, bawal muna. Sunod [pag] wala pa rin, then may pangatlo pa, ang next nun bibigyan ko sila ng tig-isa pamalo tapos sabay sabi, ‘Sige magpaluan kayo, wag kayong titigil hanggang hindi kayo magsawa.’ Pero ngayon naman na mga dalaga na silang dalawa super friends naman silang dalawa; kung nasaan ang isa, andun naman yung isa. Madalas pag bibili sila ng damit laging matching sila.”
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Another one pointed out the importance of the kids being sincere in their apology.
“Any form of punishment, corporal man o hindi, as long as may pagpaintindi, with compassion and love, tone of voice, being gentle but firm, ngano gi pa face the wall. But the sorry should not be forced. Dapat bukas sa kanilang kalooban ang pag sorry. Dili right there and then. Pag ayaw pa mag sorry, let them be. Sige lang pa explain ang parents until ma gets na jud niya ug ma cguro nga sorry talaga sya.”
One mom, whose kids are now grown, left a comment to say that discipline does the kids good, proof of which are her own kids.
“I believe in this kind of punishment. I also spanked my kids when they were small. They are now grown-ups and when I ask them if they are mad at me, they’d always say no. They’re even thankful that I disciplined them because they are now good, happy, and responsible adults. Just do whatever you think is applicable to your kids. You’re the mother, you know better.”